Even More to Think About

We had our conference call with the facilitator in SoCal on Friday.  I felt really good about her and felt like she would really do her best to find us a baby.  When I got home later that day, I sat down to my computer and saw a picture of TenderHeart, at about 3 months old, on my screen.  I took a picture of it and texted it to Husband saying, didn't we make the most beautiful babies?

That night after all the kids had gone to sleep, Husband said that he had been doing some thinking; about birth mothers who were smoking a pack a day or on drugs, about birth mothers asking for lots of money for "support", about walking away from a baby we so desperately wantd because the birth mom had changed her mind, and finally about our beautiful baby girls.  He thought it might be a good idea to try IVF again.

I hung my head.  When we finished our last frozen embryo transfer in August 2012, he was the more outspoken one, saying he didn't want to do anymore IVF cycles.  Ever.  And so, for almost 18 months, we have been trying on our own and end up disappointed month after month.

Yes, I said.  I will do IVF again.  But not with the same doctor.  I checked online at what my options were.  Lucky for us there are several IVF clinics in the Bay Area.  We have an appointment with the new clinic on Monday.

Since I made my appointment, I keep reliving all my previous attempts.  I did a fresh cycle in 2007 and got pregnant on the first try with our twins!  We froze 4 embryos.  We transferred 2 in March 2012 and only one survived for our attempt in August 2012.  I thought about all the shots and the discomfort and the blood draws and wondered how I could manage it taking care of three kids?

I  will be 35 in June, so now the clock is ticking against me for real.  I am already happy with the service I have received from my new IVF clinic and I'm hoping they give me good news, that we can move forward quickly with treatment.

Adoption is not totally out of the picture.  However the cost of doing an IVF cycle is much less than adoption.  Even doing a few cycles will still be less expensive.  Why should it be this way?  But I'm still researching my options so that if something great comes up, we will be ready to go.